Mental Health at Christmas | Blogmas Day 23

I'm a bit nervous about writing this post, but I feel like its something that should be talked about around this time of the year.  I'm only writing from my experiences, people may feel different about it to me, but that's mental health.  I wrote a post on mental health before (here) and it went down well and people seemed to find it helpful. 
I've seen lots of people write a post similar to this which inspired me to do my own.   This is just me writing about my experience with Christmas and mental health.

Living with a mental illness is never easy.  Some days will be ok, others will be awful. Its just the way it is with mental illness.  From experience I struggle with Christmas the most. Its so hard when everyone around you is excited and happy and looking forward to Christmas Day.  I find it hard because most of the time I will be feeling pretty awful and the thought of Christmas Day makes it worse.  I feel pressure to feel ok on the day and act happy in front of my family as to not disappoint them and things.  I'm not saying here that "oh I hate Christmas day, theres so much pressure" No, thats not what I'm saying.  I just find it hard because I want to feel happy and excited, but I just don't.

I was diagnosed with Depression a couple of weeks before Christmas 2 years ago and so I remember that being the worst Christmas.  I was tired and stressed with the medication and my body was getting use to it.  Last Christmas was better. Still hard, but better.  Hopefully this year it will be better still.  I'm not hoping for much though as I feel really pretty crap sitting here writing this, especially after some of the things that have happened this year.

All I try to tell myself is that this will only happen once this year and that if I don't make the most of it I my regret it as things might be completely different this time next year (hopefully not, but a lot can change in a year) Its so hard to not just want to go to bed and sleep through the day, but you can't really.  If you did, you would regret it.  I know I would anyway.

If you're in a similar situation to me this year, with any mental illness not just depression like me, be strong and brave and remember that even if you are feeling crap, at least you are surround by family and friends. Oh, and there is really good music playing haha.



  1. I am sorry to hear that you got diagnosed with depression so close to Christmas, at least they are getting for you! Don't feel pressured to be happy on the day! If you don't your family will understand noone is going to be disappointed! Stay strong sweetie x

    1. Thank you so much lovely. I'm sure they would understand but it still worries me a bit!
      Thank you again x

  2. I was diaganosed just a few weeks ago also and I am just not excited for christmas at all and when you feel like this it dont really feel any different to any other day! Anyways stay strong beautiful and I'm always here for a chat! Also I think your posts are so wellwritten and personal!

    Amy x

    1. I'm sorry you got diagnosed around that time too, yep I know how you feel about it not feeling different to any other day!
      Thank you so much, you too lovely x

  3. I was fine being alone last year during the holidays. I expected it and I accepted it. However, this year was different. I detested being alone. I despised people who were happy with their friends and loved ones. I wanted what they had and when I didn't get it, I became angry at everything and everyone and I just wanted to sleep forever.

    I slept all through Christmas. When I decided to stay awake for a few hours, it was so bad, I wanted to succumb to depression and pray I won't wake up the next day... Then I watched Fault in our Stars and I felt better. I woke up (today) and felt better. But the darkness is lurking just beneath and it scares me that it might swallow me whole one day.

    Arianne | Ayre

    1. I'm so sorry you've had such a rubbish time :(
      I'm glad you felt a bit better when you wrote this and I hope you're feeling a bit better now.
      If you ever want to talk, tweet me or send me an email (@bird_butterfly1)