Mental Health at Christmas | Blogmas Day 23

I'm a bit nervous about writing this post, but I feel like its something that should be talked about around this time of the year.  I'm only writing from my experiences, people may feel different about it to me, but that's mental health.  I wrote a post on mental health before (here) and it went down well and people seemed to find it helpful. 

I've seen lots of people write a post similar to this which inspired me to do my own.   This is just me writing about my experience with Christmas and mental health.

Living with a mental illness is never easy.  Some days will be ok, others will be awful. Its just the way it is with mental illness.  From experience I struggle with Christmas the most. Its so hard when everyone around you is excited and happy and looking forward to Christmas Day.  I find it hard because most of the time I will be feeling pretty awful and the thought of Christmas Day makes it worse.  I feel pressure to feel ok on the day and act happy in front of my family as to not disappoint them and things.  I'm not saying here that "oh I hate Christmas day, theres so much pressure" No, thats not what I'm saying.  I just find it hard because I want to feel happy and excited, but I just don't.

I was diagnosed with Depression a couple of weeks before Christmas 2 years ago and so I remember that being the worst Christmas.  I was tired and stressed with the medication and my body was getting use to it.  Last Christmas was better. Still hard, but better.  Hopefully this year it will be better still.  I'm not hoping for much though as I feel really pretty crap sitting here writing this, especially after some of the things that have happened this year.

All I try to tell myself is that this will only happen once this year and that if I don't make the most of it I my regret it as things might be completely different this time next year (hopefully not, but a lot can change in a year) Its so hard to not just want to go to bed and sleep through the day, but you can't really.  If you did, you would regret it.  I know I would anyway.

If you're in a similar situation to me this year, with any mental illness not just depression like me, be strong and brave and remember that even if you are feeling crap, at least you are surround by family and friends. Oh, and there is really good music playing haha.

Jessica 

xx

Mental Health

So I've been debating whether to write a post on this topic for quite a while.  Mainly because I'm nervous and scared of how people will react, but I have now just decided to just go ahead and do it (clearly...) I'm not sure where I'm going to go with this post, I'm just going to write and see what happens!

A bit about me first.. Since a very young age, I have struggled with anxiety. There's a post here of the things I do that help me. A couple of years ago I was also diagnosed with depression.  So yes, I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. When I was first diagnosed with the depression I found it very hard to accept and I was convinced that no matter what, I would become suicidal and that terrified me and so I refused to accept the fact I had depression. This made things so much harder for me and everyone else around me.  However, eventually I accepted it. This made things slightly easier, but it also meant I was now dealing with the stigma and around it.  I don't cope that well with my depression and I hate anyone knowing about my illness, there are only 2 people that know fully about it. But this post isn't about me so lets move on....

(Photo from https://unsplash.com) 

The main reason I was inspired to write this post is because of the stigma around all mental illnesses.  I've read posts and watched videos talking about it, so I thought I should join in as it is something I feel strongly about. 

What I hate most, is the way that you have to try and make yourself look like you have a problem. I hate the way, some people feel the need to harm themselves just so they can get the help they need. I hate how people use depression as an adjective.  I hate that its not a good enough reason to take a day off school/uni/ work.  For example, in class a few weeks ago,  my friend had a tummy ache and the tutor allowed her to go home. No questions asked, she was just allowed to leave. Later in the class, I had a panic attack. I was with a friend outside telling her I couldn't face going back in and she understood so went and got my stuff for me and told the tutor I had to leave. However, the tutor came out and told me I couldn't leave. She made me go with her to get a drink and then made me sit through the rest of the class. I asked twice if I could leave, she said "no, you're fine. I'm not allowing you to leave".  If this isn't a good example of how mental illness isn't treated the same as physical illness, I don't know what is. 

The stigma around all mental illness is ridiculous.  The way me and so many others feel the need to hide their illness from everyone around them because they are afraid that people will just react with "get over it" or "get away from me, you're weird, you'll always be in a bad mood" (I don't know if this is what everyone feels, but I know a lot of people do) or scared that everyone will just leave you.

The way that so many normal people and celebrities (not that they're not normal, but you know what I mean) have died because of depression for some people to start to realise that it is a REAL SERIOUS ILLNESS. It is not them just being sad or attention seeking, its them being ill, just on the inside.  The brain is an organ, just like hearts. People with a heart disease don't just get told to "get over it". 

Something really has to change. 

I really love this video from Mae (check out her channel) and she basically says what I have tried to say in this post.  I agree with everything she says. 

                   

        

If you are going through a hard time, please just talk to someone. It can literally be anyone, a teacher, friend, doctor, people you speak to online, even me. It will make you feel better, even if slightly. Honestly.  

I am always here if any of you want to talk because, trust me, I've probably been through it (depression wise anyway).  You can leave comments below or email me or tweet me (@percypippins) Anything.  Just know I'm here to talk :) 

Finally, this video from Zoe Sugg, she said that whenever she starts to feel anxious or panicky she said that its ok for her to be feeling like that, and I think that it is a very good thing to remember.  Don't feel bad for having a mental illness, its an illness as the name suggests, so its ok for you to be feeling the way you do.

Hopefully one day this stigma will be gone and more people will finally understand. 

Jessica 

xxx

5 Things That Help Me

Hello again.

Today, I thought I'd post about something a bit different.   As you may know, I suffer from anxiety and depression which leaves me to not really feeling that happy most of the time and not knowing what to do (woah bit deep, lets change the tone haha) When I feel down these are a few things I will try and do, which mostly work for me.  I'm hoping that this will help a few of you, and if doesn't I hope you at least enjoyed reading it!

1. Exercise: I know that everyone says this helps with anxiety, but it really does. I never really thought it would when I got told about it, but I tried it and it did.  It doesn't necessarily mean going to gym everyday or going for runs (it can be if you want) but something like yoga which helps focus on your breathing helps or just going for a stroll out, which I like to do.
2. Diet: When I'm going through a bad time with my mood, I always try and focus on what I'm eating.  Even though I don't have much of an appetite, I still try to eat healthy as I feel that watching what you put inside you does make a difference. Be healthy! 
3. Talking: This may not help all of you, but you should definitely try it.  Just talking to friends, family, even teachers about how you're feeling can really help.  I find just telling people about how I feel really helps me. Suffering in silence is never good, trust me! Even talk to me if you want to.
4. Lists: Sometimes I find that writing a list of everything positive in my life makes me feel better.  It makes you realise that not all is bad.  Granted, that it may be hard to think of anything positive when you're feeling down, but there is always something positive in your life.
5. Social media: Right, I know what works for me on this topic, but I know the opposite will work for others. I find, that distracting my self by going on Twitter or Facebook usually helps me.  It gives me the chance to not think about how crap I may be feeling.  However, I know that for others social media just makes things 10X worse, so for those it is good for you to just switch your phone off.  Just sit down and focus on you, don't worry about anyone else (sometimes this does help me)

So there we are.  That is my short list of things I do that help me, that I'm hoping may help some of you if you suffer from anxiety or just generally feeling down.  If it doesn't, maybe you may have friends that would find this useful? I hope even if you know no one that suffers from anxiety etc. that you enjoyed this slightly different post.

Please remember, you are always welcome to talk to me via Twitter or email or commenting on this post :)

Jessica

xxx

2014-2015

As it is now the start of a new year, I thought it would be nice to me to write a post on 2014 and my resolutions for 2015.

2014 wasn't the best of years for me, it had its up and downs.  For a start, it was the year my anxiety got a lot worse and was suffering badly with depression.  I was falling behind on school work and constantly having to go to meetings with teachers explaining why, but not telling them about my mental illness and just just making up excuses.  Towards the end of the year, my dog was killed by a car.  We had her for 8 years, so this was a very hard thing to deal with.  That's about it for the bad things luckily and I know things could have been worse, but this was all very hard for me.

This post has got a bit sad now so onto the good things! I made some amazing friends that have supported me and been there always and just are generally wonderful.  I also went to see Billy Elliot the Musical which was AMAZING.  Finally, in December, we got 2 new kittens.  They are perfect and we love them haha. (Not much but it helped the year be not so bad and actually ok)

My resolutions:

I have't really got any major resolutions because I always fail at them, but this year my main one is to be happy.  As cheesy/silly as it sounds, that is all I want.  I want to make sure that I live life for me and stop caring what other people think of me. I'm going to focus on trying to get over my depression and just be happy (Hopefully).  My other resolutions are to be more healthy.  I want to start excreting more and having a better diet.  Marcus and Niomi (Youtubers) have inspired me to do this, but not so extreme as I don't think I'd cope haha.

Let me know your highlights of 2014 and your new years resolutions!

Jessica 

xxx