Mental Health at Christmas | Blogmas Day 23

I'm a bit nervous about writing this post, but I feel like its something that should be talked about around this time of the year.  I'm only writing from my experiences, people may feel different about it to me, but that's mental health.  I wrote a post on mental health before (here) and it went down well and people seemed to find it helpful. 

I've seen lots of people write a post similar to this which inspired me to do my own.   This is just me writing about my experience with Christmas and mental health.

Living with a mental illness is never easy.  Some days will be ok, others will be awful. Its just the way it is with mental illness.  From experience I struggle with Christmas the most. Its so hard when everyone around you is excited and happy and looking forward to Christmas Day.  I find it hard because most of the time I will be feeling pretty awful and the thought of Christmas Day makes it worse.  I feel pressure to feel ok on the day and act happy in front of my family as to not disappoint them and things.  I'm not saying here that "oh I hate Christmas day, theres so much pressure" No, thats not what I'm saying.  I just find it hard because I want to feel happy and excited, but I just don't.

I was diagnosed with Depression a couple of weeks before Christmas 2 years ago and so I remember that being the worst Christmas.  I was tired and stressed with the medication and my body was getting use to it.  Last Christmas was better. Still hard, but better.  Hopefully this year it will be better still.  I'm not hoping for much though as I feel really pretty crap sitting here writing this, especially after some of the things that have happened this year.

All I try to tell myself is that this will only happen once this year and that if I don't make the most of it I my regret it as things might be completely different this time next year (hopefully not, but a lot can change in a year) Its so hard to not just want to go to bed and sleep through the day, but you can't really.  If you did, you would regret it.  I know I would anyway.

If you're in a similar situation to me this year, with any mental illness not just depression like me, be strong and brave and remember that even if you are feeling crap, at least you are surround by family and friends. Oh, and there is really good music playing haha.

Jessica 

xx

What I do after a panic/anxiety attack

I think panic and anxiety attacks are more or less the same (I might be wrong, I just know I have panic attacks).  They're both awful and drain a hell of a lot of energy from you.  I go through times of having them very frequently and then not so much.  Either way, I like to do a number of things after I've had one to try and relax myself and get some energy back!  These things usually help me, they may not help you as we are all different, but I really hope they do!

1.  Tell yourself you got through it: I like to remind myself that I got through the panic attack and I'm ok now.  A few minutes ago, your heart was racing, you felt like you couldn't breath and basically felt like you were about to die. Look at yourself now.  You got through it.  You didn't die.  YOU were strong enough to get through.  If it happens again, remind yourself that.  Remember that you had no reason to be so scared, it was all ok.

2.  Work out the cause: It might just be me, but I like to try and think about what caused my panic attack.  If I know what caused it I sometimes think "You know, that was a really scary thing to me and thats's why my anxiety got out of control.  Next time, it won't need to" (does that make any sense? Haha)

3. Have a shower and get changed into your favourite PJs: I get very hot and sweaty during panic attacks and so the best thing I find to do is have a shower.  It gets you clean and refreshed, whilst giving you some time to think about what just happened and remind yourself of point number 1.  Normally, I find baths more relaxing but after I've had the attack the thought of a bath makes me feel horrible. I like to change into my favourite PJs because why not?

4. Have a drink and watch some Netflix/TV:  After I've had my shower I just like to go and lay on my bed and drink a load of water.  I then like to make myself a hot chocolate and watch some Netflix or TV in bed.

5.  Go to bed or have a nap: If its night time I just go to bed or if its during the day, I'll just have an hour or so nap.  As I've said, panic attacks drain a lot of energy.  I always feel so exhausted after and just want to sleep.  When I wake up, I'll (most of the time) feel a bit better!

So there you have a few things I do after I've had a panic attack. I hope some of these may help you! If you have any things you like to do, please let me know in the comments! 

Jessica 

xx

Mental Health

So I've been debating whether to write a post on this topic for quite a while.  Mainly because I'm nervous and scared of how people will react, but I have now just decided to just go ahead and do it (clearly...) I'm not sure where I'm going to go with this post, I'm just going to write and see what happens!

A bit about me first.. Since a very young age, I have struggled with anxiety. There's a post here of the things I do that help me. A couple of years ago I was also diagnosed with depression.  So yes, I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. When I was first diagnosed with the depression I found it very hard to accept and I was convinced that no matter what, I would become suicidal and that terrified me and so I refused to accept the fact I had depression. This made things so much harder for me and everyone else around me.  However, eventually I accepted it. This made things slightly easier, but it also meant I was now dealing with the stigma and around it.  I don't cope that well with my depression and I hate anyone knowing about my illness, there are only 2 people that know fully about it. But this post isn't about me so lets move on....

(Photo from https://unsplash.com) 

The main reason I was inspired to write this post is because of the stigma around all mental illnesses.  I've read posts and watched videos talking about it, so I thought I should join in as it is something I feel strongly about. 

What I hate most, is the way that you have to try and make yourself look like you have a problem. I hate the way, some people feel the need to harm themselves just so they can get the help they need. I hate how people use depression as an adjective.  I hate that its not a good enough reason to take a day off school/uni/ work.  For example, in class a few weeks ago,  my friend had a tummy ache and the tutor allowed her to go home. No questions asked, she was just allowed to leave. Later in the class, I had a panic attack. I was with a friend outside telling her I couldn't face going back in and she understood so went and got my stuff for me and told the tutor I had to leave. However, the tutor came out and told me I couldn't leave. She made me go with her to get a drink and then made me sit through the rest of the class. I asked twice if I could leave, she said "no, you're fine. I'm not allowing you to leave".  If this isn't a good example of how mental illness isn't treated the same as physical illness, I don't know what is. 

The stigma around all mental illness is ridiculous.  The way me and so many others feel the need to hide their illness from everyone around them because they are afraid that people will just react with "get over it" or "get away from me, you're weird, you'll always be in a bad mood" (I don't know if this is what everyone feels, but I know a lot of people do) or scared that everyone will just leave you.

The way that so many normal people and celebrities (not that they're not normal, but you know what I mean) have died because of depression for some people to start to realise that it is a REAL SERIOUS ILLNESS. It is not them just being sad or attention seeking, its them being ill, just on the inside.  The brain is an organ, just like hearts. People with a heart disease don't just get told to "get over it". 

Something really has to change. 

I really love this video from Mae (check out her channel) and she basically says what I have tried to say in this post.  I agree with everything she says. 

                   

        

If you are going through a hard time, please just talk to someone. It can literally be anyone, a teacher, friend, doctor, people you speak to online, even me. It will make you feel better, even if slightly. Honestly.  

I am always here if any of you want to talk because, trust me, I've probably been through it (depression wise anyway).  You can leave comments below or email me or tweet me (@percypippins) Anything.  Just know I'm here to talk :) 

Finally, this video from Zoe Sugg, she said that whenever she starts to feel anxious or panicky she said that its ok for her to be feeling like that, and I think that it is a very good thing to remember.  Don't feel bad for having a mental illness, its an illness as the name suggests, so its ok for you to be feeling the way you do.

Hopefully one day this stigma will be gone and more people will finally understand. 

Jessica 

xxx