Mental Health at Christmas | Blogmas Day 23

I'm a bit nervous about writing this post, but I feel like its something that should be talked about around this time of the year.  I'm only writing from my experiences, people may feel different about it to me, but that's mental health.  I wrote a post on mental health before (here) and it went down well and people seemed to find it helpful. 

I've seen lots of people write a post similar to this which inspired me to do my own.   This is just me writing about my experience with Christmas and mental health.

Living with a mental illness is never easy.  Some days will be ok, others will be awful. Its just the way it is with mental illness.  From experience I struggle with Christmas the most. Its so hard when everyone around you is excited and happy and looking forward to Christmas Day.  I find it hard because most of the time I will be feeling pretty awful and the thought of Christmas Day makes it worse.  I feel pressure to feel ok on the day and act happy in front of my family as to not disappoint them and things.  I'm not saying here that "oh I hate Christmas day, theres so much pressure" No, thats not what I'm saying.  I just find it hard because I want to feel happy and excited, but I just don't.

I was diagnosed with Depression a couple of weeks before Christmas 2 years ago and so I remember that being the worst Christmas.  I was tired and stressed with the medication and my body was getting use to it.  Last Christmas was better. Still hard, but better.  Hopefully this year it will be better still.  I'm not hoping for much though as I feel really pretty crap sitting here writing this, especially after some of the things that have happened this year.

All I try to tell myself is that this will only happen once this year and that if I don't make the most of it I my regret it as things might be completely different this time next year (hopefully not, but a lot can change in a year) Its so hard to not just want to go to bed and sleep through the day, but you can't really.  If you did, you would regret it.  I know I would anyway.

If you're in a similar situation to me this year, with any mental illness not just depression like me, be strong and brave and remember that even if you are feeling crap, at least you are surround by family and friends. Oh, and there is really good music playing haha.

Jessica 

xx