I've spoken about my mental health on my blog a bit before, but not for a while and I've never really spoken about therapy.  I'm going through a real crappy time with my mental health at the moment so I just thought I would blog about it as blogging takes my mind off of things but I just can't face talking about things that seem silly to me at the moment like beauty products and reviews etc. So, here we are now with a blog post about my mental health and current therapy.

I've tried CBT a few times now to help with my anxiety and depression but I just never seemed to get anywhere with it so I was referred to a place in London to try and help.  The wait list for this was crazy, it has taken almost a year for me to seen!  I've had about 7 sessions now.  Things started off fairly badly, I didn't particularly like/trust my new therapist and felt she didn't understand me but things are much better now.  Luckily I really like my therapist now and definitely trust her, which I think is very important in therapy.

If I'm honest, I'm not sure its helping much at the moment and if anything it has made my mood 10 times worse and the past couple of weeks I've felt the lowest I have for quite a while it is pretty shitty. I sort of feel like I'm going in a downward spiral and I can't seem to get myself out of it no matter how hard I try and that is really scary to me.  I think that is partly due to everything else going on at the moment as well though.

University and therapy is a very hard thing to do together, trust me!! Each week in therapy I'm having to do things that make my anxiety sky high and get horrible physical symptoms and then after that hour I'm somehow just meant to go back to uni and get on with lectures and the crazy amount of essays I have to do.  In between the sessions I also have 'homework' to do for the therapy.  I think, at the moment, it has all just got a bit too much for me and all I want to do is focus on getting better but I can't because I need to be down at uni and doing essays.  When really I just want to stay at home where I'm safe and focus on therapy.  I guess I can't have the best of both worlds, eh!
Hopefully things will get better soon.

Anyway, I'm sorry this is such a nothing post really but I just wanted to write about what has been happening at the moment.

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